She likes the taste of Captain Morgan; Cigarettes oh she adores them. And she can get a little craazy sometimes.

i just cant be done with people being like thi anymore. like seriously wtf is the need to put it on the internet if you feel this way? if you really felt that way, the last thing you would be doing would be posting it online. the ones who do it for attention get all the help, support and love. people with real problems who put on a face, no one knows. even though they just want to die.

feeling like i need to lose weight right now, i want to be skinnier. skinny like i was before. if i lose weight i lose my boobs but i dont even care anymore. i want to be dainty and pretty and petite. but im too tall for that, fucking 5'9 >_> im so hungry right now and im having a chippy for supper which cant end well :/ tempted to start purging again but then again my dad would be bound to hear me being sick. and ive fucked my gag reflexes enough from when i did that before. i just want to be thinner. i want to be shorter. i want to be lightweight, a feather. be able to wear belly tops and revealing/tight clothes without sucking my belly in or worrying about my hips bulging out. im too big, i know i am. i need to stop using food as my way of feeling better because i just want to be thin. so hungry and want my chips cheese and gravy already but i wont get it til like 10. what will i have til then? just want to gorge on crisps and toast and cheese and onion rolls and things that will make me bloated. i wish i hated food.

total Mayday Parade set... cuz yknow they're just like, THE BEST.
this isnt Mayday but becky suggested them to me and theyre ACE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=E71_tID-QsU

made because the guy i love is leaving for Abu Dhabi for 2 months *sigh* :(

been sitting around for ages now, idk why today, thinking of what i want in my future. dont get me wrong im not about to dive into things i wish i had because i cudnt be more happy with my life atm, but im thinking about how i want things to be in the future. i want to own my own salon/hairdressers in new york or be a hiar stylist for an awesome magazine for photoshoots. i want an awesome apartment not too big not too small and i wanna live there with the guy im im in love with. i dont wanna be in this town for the rest of my life; theres nothing good here except the people. i know its a lot to dream about but one day i will live in new york. il go to central park when the weathers nice and it central perks a real place ima go there and have a coffee like im on Friends. and i dont even really like coffee lol. i also wanna travel, again, with the guy i love. i wanna see paris and go to the top of the eifel tower and visit the art museums and eat breads and cheeses and cakes and put on weigh and not give a sh.ite. i wanna see all the disneylands. i wanna visit egypt and the pyramids and the sphynx and look at all the awesomeness. i wanna go wherever they have museums about greek mythology, im pretty sure the egyptains believed in that. most likely greece did though lol. i want to relive it all and recite the greek alphabet because i CAN ;D haha. i wanna go to italy and eat pizza and pasta and get a tan and dress smart but hot. i wanna live in new york. i want snow in winter, flowers in spring, a tan in summer and leaves in autumn. il have a walk-in wardrobe like Carrie from Sex And The City and be making enough money to buy all the clothes i want to fill it. Carrie can have Gucci heels, i want Converse and Vans and lots of them please? <3 atm im happy to just suck it up in fraserburgh, il get through my exams and do one more year at school while graemie does his thing in Abu Dhabi i guess. if he has to move to aberdeen i wanna share a flat with him tbh. i wanna more to abdn in a year anyways, go to college there and become the best damn hairdresser there is ;D but for now, im in love. i cant move anywhere or go ahead with my career, but for now, love's enough. because the most amazing guy ive ever met loves me too. and thats me for the time being :) <3

i fell in love when you woke me up. <3

i fell in love. silly me right? it sucks haha cause im basically goin out with the guy but i can't tell him i lvoe him cause he's scared of the L word. mehhh haha. maybe heel say it eventually and i can say it then. either way i frigging love him. everytime im with him i wanna tell him. i wanna tell everyone. i went and fell in love. and i always said i didnt want to because people do stupid things when theyre in love but hell call me stupid (: i really do love him aswell. hes too old for me, too good for me, and the best guy ever. im so lucky i found him. and he wants me. ME! off all people? happy happy happy abbie >_< im wearing his hoody right now. its comfy as hell (: just cuz its his, yknow. haha. hes the best. i could talk about him all day but i figure it must bug people so im writing it all here. like a diary (: i just wanna say it over and voer. i love him. i really fucking love him. he makes me so happy. i love graemie. hee hee (: god i just wanna spoon him all day :') i really bloody love him. over and out.